[Christiane] I last visited Shanghai in 1978,
when China was truly communist
and love was reserved for the revolution.
Sex was strictly controlled. Conformity was the opiate of the masses.
Today, it's another universe.
Communism meets capitalism.
Attitudes to love and sex are shifting.
But, as with everything here,
it's complicated.
[in Mandarin] In China, getting married is
the most important event in a person's life.
[people chattering in Mandarin]
[woman] In Chinese tradition,
you take wedding photos before the wedding day.
[shutters clicking]
[Christiane] In Shanghai, lavish photo studios
provide costume designers, make-up artists,
photographers and fairy-tale sets
to help turn every couple's fantasy into a reality.
[in Mandarin] We have six sets of costumes today.
We are going to share those photos
with family and friends on our wedding day.
They will consider our wedding and our marriage is heavenly and beautiful.
[Christiane] For some couples, this photoshoot
will be the biggest luxury of their lives.
[in Mandarin] Both of us are from rural areas of China.
We won't be holding a wedding celebration in a hotel.
For us migrant workers, we need long-term savings in order to do that.
That's why we decided to take professional wedding photos for remembrance.
[Christiane] For years, marriage and relationships here
have been controlled by three sacred pillars...
Family, tradition, and state.
I'm curious to find out to what extent
people are taking back control of their relationships,
their love, their desire, and their sexuality.
[Wang Dong in Mandarin] In our country, on the internet, you cannot show
any exposed body part, like nipples or genitals.
However, I think there is a demand
among the people for this kind of art.
[Christiane] Wanimal is an artist who dares to dance
on the edge of self-expression and censorship,
undaunted by China's conservative values.
[Wang Dong in Mandarin] My father, when he was young, was a painter.
He would paint naked women.
I grew up in this type of environment from a young age.
- So this is normal for you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Christiane] The models in Wanimal's photographs
are always nude,
and his provocative images
explore varying forms of sexual identity and intimacy.
[Christiane] This bit looks kind of sweet.
So you don't mind doing this for the world to see?
[in Mandarin] I feel very shy but happy doing this together with him.
Shy but happy to be with him.
[Christiane] After the shoot, I sat down to chat with Wanimal
and two of his muses, wife, Xiang and model, Blair.
[Christiane] I'd asked your two models whether they were in love.
And they said yes, that they're partners.
Why is it important for you, intimacy?
[in Mandarin] Because two people together should be intimate.
If there's a distance, it just doesn't look good.
It's not like I shoot with the intention of making pornography.
I just like the look of people merging together as one.
[Christiane] So, what do you think
about posing nude for your husband, and for the world?
[in Mandarin] I think being naked is the most beautiful, most natural state of the body.
And furthermore, this photography is incredibly beautiful and artistic.
[in English] Let me ask you, Blair, are any of these you?
One of these is you, though?
This is you.
You love doing this kind of modeling.
Yeah, because I think female body is definitely art.
-What about your own parents? Do they... -They don't know.
-They haven't seen this book? -No, never, and I'm never gonna tell them.
Why?
Well, because China have a really conservative, like, history, right?
And all the women are just very mentally restricted.
My parents, they're like, just really, really conservative.
And they think, like, your body is not for you to show other people.
And you cannot have sex before marriage.
And I don't think they'll ever change their mind.
What are you looking for in a partner?
What do you want from a guy?
I mean, first he has to be handsome
or you just cannot have sex with him, you know.
And, uh, I think size really matters too.
- Size really matters? - Yeah. [laughs]
- You mean tall? - No, I mean...
-Penis. -Yeah. I mean, what you are thinking it is.
[Christiane] All right.
I can see you two, very intimate and you work together.
Does this work help your sex life?
[in Mandarin] In reality, we're working.
And it's a really arduous work process.
If we want it, then we'll have sex.
If not, then we won't.
I think, in our sex life, I'm very much the initiator.
She initiates sex more than I do.
Ah, that's interesting. So you take a lot of initiative?
[in Mandarin] Yes.
- [Christiane laughing] - It's great.
Sex is important.
I think a married couple who doesn't have sex
cannot be considered a normal couple.
I don't agree with him.
Video games are enough, right?
A physical relationship is very important to me.
Humans can't live without a physical relationship, right?
Human's nature at birth is good...
Stop talking. Can I skip this question?
[Jin] It's a perfect day.
Perfect day, it's a great, beautiful park.
Lots of people out doing their own thing
A whole village is following us, Jin, and that's because of you.
You are an incredibly popular person.
How many people watch your show every week?
Every Wednesday night, I think, all over the world,
we have 150 million Chinese people.
- 150 million? - 150 million. Yes.
[Christiane] Already renowned as a dancer and choreographer,
Jin Xing shot to super stardom as a TV personality.
One of the many immensely popular programs she hosts is
a dating show with a twist.
Where it's the parents who get to choose dates for their children.
How important is it in Chinese culture and tradition
for the parents to actually see their children married
to make their children have a happy match?
For Chinese people,
the idea of a happy family is four generations under one roof.
The parents in China also retire earlier.
After they're retired,
they want to be the grandparents as soon as possible.
[Christiane] According to Jin Xing, marriage in China is still a family affair,
and a weekly gathering in this park shows
just what lengths parents will go to
to find a good match for their child.
-[Christiane] Oh look! Here we are! -Look, look at this. Look!
-[Christiane] What is this? -[Jin] Do you see? Do you see they put umbrellas here?
- Yes. - This one say that girl...
- Okay, what does this one say? - A girl. '87. Born in 1987.
- Right. - Height, 1 meter, 67.
And working for the government company.
Every month, income, 10,000.
[Christiane] This is a marriage market.
The idea is a Shanghai phenomenon
that's now spread across China,
where parents gather in the park
to advertise not goods, but their children.
[Christiane] So all these elderly, well, middle-aged people...
-[Jin] Yeah. -They are here trying to snare a match for their child.
For their children, yes, yes.
[Christiane] Flyers are pinned to umbrellas
detailing each child's best selling points.
Job, income, education.
-Look at this one. Ms. Liu, born in 1984. -Yeah.
Not married. One meter, 60, height.
And after graduation, working for the foreign company.
- Okay. - And she has her own apartment.
[gasps] That's major. She has her own apartment.
Exactly. A girl. And her request is must be Shanghainese.
Right.
And must be have apartment, and the same kind of education,
and must be only five years above her.
-Whoa! I'm mean that's pretty... -Precise.
Pretty precise.
So, she wants an educated Shanghainese who's five years older than her
and specifically, ten centimeters higher than her!
Do the young people know that their parents are doing this?
Eighty percent, they have no idea.
-Most of the young kids, they feel ashamed. -Do they?
They say, "I need to find my own love by myself."
No matter, doesn't stop the parents.
The marriage is not like a two young people's issue.
It's a family issue.
-Wow, it is incredible. -And also looking for the reward.
Yeah, what reward?
After I'm getting old, you have to look after me.
-Ah, that's what it's all about. -Nothing for free.
No free lunch. No free marriage.
Exactly, exactly.
[Aaron in Mandarin] In traditional Chinese culture
all parents have intense expectations for their children.
It's a big pressure that's put on us.
[in English] My name is Aaron King.
I am conductor and composer from the Rainbow Chamber Singers.
[all vocalizing]
[speaking Mandarin]
[Christiane] The choir became famous for its original compositions,
which blend traditional music with humorous lyrics.
One of their biggest hits highlights the parental pressure
that young people face when it comes to their love lives.
♪ Any dates lately? ♪
♪ Nope ♪
♪ Anyone you like at all? ♪
♪ Way out of my league ♪
[Aaron in Mandarin] Filial obedience is the most important character trait.
We have to work together with our parents.
We have to listen to their advice.
♪ Great! Why don't you go on this date ♪
♪ I set up for you tomorrow? ♪
♪ And it's about time you lose a few pounds too! ♪
♪ Just skip this meal! ♪
This song illustrates that issue.
♪ It's all for your own good! ♪
♪ You really have let your parents down! ♪
♪ It's all for your own good! ♪
When we sing, everyone really resonates with it.
The boys will get really emotional.
♪ The dreams of the entire family weighing down on my shoulders ♪
♪ Become a CEO a month after graduation ♪
♪ Blind date, get married, And make babies ♪
♪ Twins? Even better! ♪
What young people desire the most is
for adults in their lives to understand their intentions.
[audience cheering]
[Christiane] Shanghainese women have a reputation
for being ambitious, successful and uncompromising.
The reason I came to Shanghai... It's all about my career.
To find the right long-term relationship partner for me
is very similar to find the right CEO or manager in the firm.
Love is actually a science.
You have to learn the theory then you have to practice.
For my mom, my dad is her first love.
This story for me is insane!
I would never marry someone who is my first love.
Without the practicing how can we find the right one?
[Christiane] Young people here are determined to get ahead.,
believing with enough practice, anything can be learned.
Yet, when it comes to their love lives,
many are absolute beginners.
[Wu Di] Traditionally, we are a reserved people.
In our Chinese culture, a human being should control his emotion,
control his sex desire.
[in Mandarin] Anyone what to join us? This is a fun game.
I received the same education.
But I'm just not a "good" girl.
[Christiane] In China, unmarried women over 27
are unflatteringly known as "shengnu,"
meaning "leftovers," while unmarried men
are "guangun" meaning "bare branches."
[in Mandarin] Get ready for the flowers.
Let's see who will be the next lucky bride.
[Christiane] Wu Di aims to dispel the stigma surrounding shengnu
and help these young singletons.
[speaking Mandarin]
[Wu Di in English] The mission of my date camp is...
Change your definition of relationships and marriage.
Introduce new vocabulary to them,
such as emotion, intimacy, sex pleasure, body contact.
[in Mandarin] We're also going to watch a video.
Twenty minutes of a video on how to have sex.
From foreplay to finish.
[Christiane] Her date camp takes the form of weekly seminars,
counseling, and private tutoring in everything
from how to flirt, to how to dress for a date.
I join the dating guru for a tutoring session at a local boutique
with a couple of her students, 27-year-old Eve and 32-year-old Stella.
Have you ever dated?
Yes, but most of the time, after the first date,
the boys would not contact with me again.
- Again? - Yes.
After the first date you've never had another call?
Yes, I think maybe there is something wrong with myself.
No, nothing wrong with you.
Today's mission is we want to find a beautiful dress for the date.
What's attractive is bright color.
Okay. So you think I have a good chance of getting a date?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay and deep... A little V-neck
I mean, I could open it more.
- Unbuttoned... - There you go.
- No. - No?
- It's too... - Too much?
-This is too much? -Your face, I mean, you look horrified.
It's just a little button.
We are good girls.
- You're a good girl? - We are good girls.
I'm trying to train them to be bad girls.
- Bad girls? - Bad girl, yes.
I'm a little bit shocked. They not only look younger, they act young.
Yes, yes. They don't look like the adult woman.
But, they are well-educated, they work for multinational companies,
they have very decent pay...
- Really? - Yes.
- They're very naïve. - Unfortunately, yes.
Oh look, here they come.
Wow! [speaking Mandarin]
Wow, that's gorgeous.
[Christiane] I want to ask you girls,
do you think about romantic and love satisfaction?
Do you feel you're missing something?
Yes. Yes, Everyone told us study very hard
to go to a very good university, to get a very good job,
but no one told us how to have a very good intimate relationship with boys.
How did you grow up? What did you see between your parents?
Just a normal family.
-Hugging and kissing? -[Wu Di] No, no, no, of course not.
No, no, never.
So you didn't even get kisses from your parents. [Wu Di] Never, never.
- No hug, no kiss? - No hug, no kiss.
Sometimes I feel very nervous to have my body touched.
- The body contact. - Yes.
Have you ever had sex? Are you a virgin?
Yeah.
- You're a virgin? - Yeah.
So that's the lesson we've learned from the parents, right?
"Don't let him think you are an easy girl.
"Don't have sex with him before the engagement,
"otherwise, he will treat you as a bitch." Yeah.
[Christiane] The thought that these two young women
had never been hugged or kissed was heartbreaking.
But I was encouraged to see
that Wu Di was trying to teach her students a whole new set of rules.
[Wu Di] Emotion is a new vocabulary for today's Chinese.
Intimacy, body contact, kiss.
For example, sex.
Can women have sex only for pleasure?
Well, that's a serious question.
I really want to help them
to have a big vision of this world.
[inaudible]
[Yashian] The family concept that I had since childhood,
falling in love, getting married, have a baby,
happily ever after, it's completely different to where I'm now.
I actually had my first marriage,
and now, I am on the fourth marriage,
and then I have two kids from two different fathers,
and also continuously living the way
that it's not a traditional family life.
Motherhood is something very new for me
because I didn't feel I've learned enough from my parents.
They never come and cuddle me, say, "I love you."
Expression of love is very limited in most Chinese family.
So, with my kids, I try to be very open.
I try to show them maximum... My unconditional love.
With my daughter, I want to give her the comfort
that she can talk to me about anything,
whenever she feel, like, really down, she say,
"Oh my God, I feel if I lose this boyfriend, I would never find any man."
I say, "Don't worry. Look at me. I had one, two, three, four of them."
If it's not yours, it's not good to be there.
And if it's yours, it will stay with you forever.
[Christiane] When I first came to Shanghai in the '70s,
individuality was unthinkable.
All these years later, I find the city is full of self-expression.
Women have reclaimed control of their appearance,
their sexuality,
and how they use it.
[in Mandarin] Hello, I'm Petite Sweet Cake and I'm a live streamer.
As a live streamer you make people happy by singing and dancing for them
and talking with them.
You become their friend.
Their online friend.
[Christiane] In the world's most populous city,
where social dynamics are always changing
and urban isolation is growing,
many people retreat online for a personal connection.
[Petite Sweetcake in Mandarin] From the moment I start my computer and log on
I see they're waiting for me.
Hello.
Welcome.
[giggles]
Please click to subscribe.
Click, click, click...
Most of my fans are male.
Some of them just like me as a friend.
But others are interested in me romantically.
They all love me.
[Christiane] But Petite Sweetcake isn't just live-streaming
for the love of her fans.
[in Mandarin] For me, live streaming is a full time job.
It's my career.
Another 300 hearts.
[Christiane] These live streams can be very lucrative.
Her fans show their appreciation by buying her "virtual gifts,"
which translate into hard cash for Petite Sweetcake.
Last year alone she earned over 300 thousand dollars.
[in Mandarin] Thank you for the roses.
1,314 treasure boxes?
Wow... Thank you!
It's just a way for them to express their love.
I am gonna spin the turntable and see what we can get today.
After becoming a live-streamer,
your personal life will definitely be affected.
Push-ups.
Friends in real life grow more and more distant.
I'm gonna start with the first one.
I'm really bad at it.
[grunting]
You shouldn't have a boyfriend
because most of your time should be dedicated to your work.
And I really love my work.
But, if I meet my true love during this time,
I'm willing to take a break for him.
[Helen in English] The big shift in China is knowledge.
Now women start realizing what social norms are available to them
that weren't available to them before.
Women do have a right to earn their own happiness.
[Christiane] For a bit of R&R I've met up with a well-known voice
in the Chinese music industry.
In China, before sex was perceived
as not something you ever talk about in public.
And um, it is still not talked about amongst people so much.
- Polite company. - Yes.
[Christiane] But Helen has never been one
to shy away from an awkward conversation.
And she's perhaps best known as the front-woman
of sexy and provocative indie rock band, Nova Heart.
One of your videos, one of your songs, "Beautiful Boys,"
is all about the idea of sex workers, right?
[Helen] Yes.
I wanted to have a conversation about these different roles in society
that we consider roles in the sex trade.
You have, like, the street-walker,
massage parlor,
you have, like, the KTV girl.
And we portray the character as honestly as we can.
And then at the end of it, we reveal that it's a man,
and we show that it's actually a loving man with a family.
I thought it was a pretty cool project because of the debate it stirred up.
Some people said, "Oh, this is disgusting," etcetera.
Certain people are saying, "I was crying.
"Look what this poor man had to do in order to feed his family."
But one of the things that really kinda got me
was that until they realized it was a man, "Oh, it's just another sex worker."
So the whole sex worker trade has been very, very prevalent...
Has been. It's definitely going down now with the younger generation.
-Why do you think that is? -It's just a different generation.
Society no longer sees it as being kosher.
Secondly, there's been a crackdown on the sex trade in general,
so the availability has gone down.
Third, it's economics.
As women become the primary educated group in China...
- Which is remarkable. - Yeah it is.
-In a very short period of time. -Very short period of time.
They're just not going to choose this option.
People don't know what they can do
until they've been shown that it's possible.
[Jin Xing] I love to be on stage.
I love dancing.
Jin Xing is my given name. It means Golden Star.
I had a very happy childhood with my parents.
But I'm still a little bit doubting.
Who am I? Something's different with me.
I cannot live my life with a mask.
I only live once.
I want to be myself. That's it.
You don't know this woman...
Because, biologically, I born as a boy.
- So you were a man? - Yes, I was a man.
Up to six seven years old I know, I should be a girl like my sister,
I have an older sister,
Then I said, "Okay. I should be like her but I don't know how."
Where this thinking come from?
Then, I just keep this little thinking into my heart.
And, of course, after I become a dancer
I keep more and more discover myself... I should be a girl.
[Christiane] But as a nine-year-old boy in the 1970s,
Jin Xing was admitted to the Chinese People's Liberation Army.
It was only in 1995 that Jin Xing finally decided
to fulfill her innermost ambition.
[Christiane] You transitioned when you were 28 years old, right?
-Yes, yes. -And this was way before transgender was so open.
Homosexuality was considered a mental illness.
-Yeah. -Transgender was never talked about.
We don't even think about it in China.
-You didn't even have a name for it. -No, no.
Was it scary, though? Because, I mean, let's face it,
China wasn't known for its transgender surgery,
for its sexual reassignment.
I mean, did you know that you would be able to do this safely here?
I was the first case.
I gambling with myself. Once, 50 percent I leave to the doctor,
50 percent I throw on the sky.
Was it difficult physically? Was it difficult emotionally when you transitioned?
[Jin Xing] I'm a dancer. I can bear a lot of physical pain.
But, I think, most difficult is psychologically, facing society.
That's a new challenge.
But my soul, my body become one, that's what I want.
[Christiane] Where does sexuality...
How does it fit into this very traditional culture?
I think in Chinese culture have a lot of space for tolerance.
- Really? - Yeah.
But we just don't talk about it.
That's a big thing between Chinese and the Western.
Western love to labelize everything.
Sometimes in life certain things you cannot explain.
Just let it be.
I think I follow my heart.
So, tell me about matters of the heart.
- [Christiane] You're married. - [Jin Xing] Yes.
-[Christiane] To a German citizen. -[Jin Xing] Yes.
[Christiane] How did you fall in love?
[Jin Xing] In that time he have no idea who I am. He only knows I am a dancer.
So I tell all my story, I was a man, I was transgender.
This woman is a huge package. He completely blow away.
And after one day he came back. Yes, I still want to date you.
2005 were married.
My personal opinion is, love and marriage is separate things.
Maybe Westerners think because we love so much we get married.
But in China, love is love, marriage is another issue.
Marriage, I think if you... I think two people must be working together.
But that's kind of like a job.
It is. It is.
Do you, do you have a good sex life?
Very good, very good.
My husband once told me, "I'm very happy. I'm still attracted by you."
I said "Good!" But come on!
"We are facing a life so you need to talk." So, we're laughing about it.
Are there many women, public women like you in China,
who are as sassy,
who are willing to push the boundaries and talk a bluntly as you do?
I can tell you... Shanghainese women are famous for that.
Make your life you want it and you go for it.
[both] Cheers!
[Angela] Traditional Chinese love is about sacrifice.
In China, happiness is something, a luxury.
Family is so much more important.
And happiness is something not 100 percent necessary.
But I think in order to know how to love,
you have to love yourself first.
This is what I believe.
What do you love about Angela?
Oh... Honest.
- Honesty. - Yeah.
Only one? [chuckles]
[Christiane] Homosexuality was only decriminalized here in 1997.
But for many gay couples, the biggest hurdle to overcome is not
the judgment of society, but the judgment of their families.
You didn't come out till you were 31?
-Yeah. -What was your mother and your father thinking?
Because in China, it's kind of old for a girl not to be married, right?
- Oh, I was married. - You were married?
Yes. That's very famous in Chinese homosexual society.
This is a way that we help each other.
A lot of us is doing that. That's marriage for convenience.
Just so I'm clear, you got married in order to...
Kind of divert your parents' attention?
Right, yeah. I was under a lot of stress and pressure as the only child.
My dad was also dying at the time.
But I knew my parents' wish was always for me to get married and...
Have the baby.
- That is so hard. - Yeah.
This marriage was so much more complicated than I thought.
-So what happened? -We'd been dating for four years.
I thought this was really the love of my life, I shouldn't,
and I couldn't continue a life with all the lies.
-So I decided to end that marriage. -Yeah.
So what did you tell your mother?
Well basically that I was born like this, and that it was nobody's fault
and there was nothing wrong with me.
My own mother should be able to accept me at the end of the day.
And, did she?
She did. After four and a half years.
-What? -She only came around and accepted us last year.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah.
[Christiane] You two have both struggled quite mightily
to be in love and to be together.
How important has your inner life been to you?
Your emotional life? Your sexual satisfaction?
I feel quite satisfied on all levels in our relationship,
emotionally and sexually. And we share the same shoes!
I like it.
[Christiane] What would Confucius make of a modern Shanghainese family?
Zhang Huang is one of China's best known artists.
It's so nice to see you.
He invited me to meet his family...
Wife and fellow artist, Jun Jun and son Sean.
What is the concept of love and partnership in China,
especially in Shanghai today?
Western people, they always show love to each other, like in many movies we see.
Chinese people actually are not really kiss in public.
- Do you guys kiss in public? - No.
You're Chinese people!
But we love each other, that's true.
So, when he declares his love for you, what do you think?
I just give a joke. I said, "Liar, you're a liar."
I always told Jun Jun, "I'm not a liar.
"We love more than 25 years,
"so please believe me, I really love you.
-So, he's saying he hasn't been pretending. -Yeah. Right.
What do you think when you hear your parents declare that kind of raw emotion?
I've actually never heard that. This is the first time.
I mean they rarely talk about this stuff,
I mean, like the emotional side of their relationship.
-So, are you blushing? -No, I'm not. I'm just kind of, like, confused at this whole...
I think it's the conventional way
in China, is the child tends to feel a need
to actually keep to themselves about things like that.
Except in my family, because I think we're more open about things.
And what do you share?
Any sort of close intimacy that I've had. [chuckles]
I tend to just feel happier if I'm doing well in that regard.
I'm very happy that he can talk everything to us. I think I'm very lucky.
That is very lucky actually,
especially to have your son talk to you as a mom about intimate things.
Right. Right.
- You don't judge? - Yeah, yeah.
I think she just guides us along.
My family, the children, the name, everything, Jun Jun decide everything.
She is my boss, really. I just focus my art.
This is what you do?
Yeah, yeah. I just focus my art.
[in Mandarin] I think the most important thing in my future is that...
Don't cheat on me. Never cheat on me!
Everyone wants a huge house.
I have the same dream.
Travel around the world. See new places.
I would like to have two children.
And then...
One husky.
But still, I want to emphasize this.
Never cheat on me.
[Christiane] Shanghai is a city that's charging into the future
while still devoted to ancient traditions.
Attitudes to love and sex have certainly come a long way
since the days of Mao.
And while there is a moral rigidity to society,
there is a fluidity to the people
as they navigate their complex and ever-changing environment,
finding their own paths to self-expression.